It’s a rather cool morning in August, even by Alberta standards. After a long, sleepless night with a teething toddler – out the door and into the day we go, deliciously hot home-brewed coffee in hand.
A cool wind blows in our faces as we stare out in silence at the nature preserve behind our home. So peaceful and serene.
Water is quickly flowing through the stream below, around the horseshoe bend, and onwards into the Bow River. Trees are rustling in the gusts of wind around us. It’s green and lush out here after all the rain we’ve had this season.
Though it seems far away, the water below is close enough you can still hear the faint splashing it makes as it passes over the rocks. Birds are quickly fluttering their way in and out of the trees, with an occasionally audible chirp.
Clouds are quickly blowing by overhead. It smells fresh, like it rained overnight. The ground’s a little soggy but the wild flowers are blooming all around us.
Little Finny sits happily and quietly in her stroller, for a brief and rare moment, as she inhales one of her snacks that constantly flows into her mouth these days.
Down in the valley two deer lazily munch on their breakfast greenery and plod slowly through the deep grass. I point them out to Finn, who looks up and squints into the wind, repeating “Deahhh” after me. Not sure if she can actually see them, but I enjoy that she humors me.
This.
Slow moments. Slow days. Very literally stopping to smell the flowers. Not rushing on. Enjoying something so simple yet so satisfying. Warm coffee, a cool morning, a great view and good company.
This is what I find so important and fulfilling. I’ve slowly learned to thoroughly appreciate this pace without forcing the moment by and rushing on to the next. It didn’t come naturally, it took conscious effort to slow myself and my mind down.
It Isn’t All About The Numbers
When we talk about Financial Independence, it’s always so heavily focused on the numbers. The money. The wealth. The investing. The savings rates. The budgeting. The life hacks. The daily spending. Becoming impermeable to the steady stream of advertising for the next best thing to empty your pockets for. (If you’re interested in more information on these topics, check out our Master the BIG Stuff Series focusing on saving big money on Housing, Transportation, Food)
While all things money and numbers are completely and utterly unavoidable when discussing FI/RE, perhaps we romanticize about the second half of FI/RE and don’t consider the realities that accompany early retirement.
While knowing what to do with your money and when to do it, to optimize your path to financial independence is important. When you arrive, what do you think your life will look like? Perhaps you’re hoping early retirement will solve all of your lifes’ problems? Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. You won’t know until you get there, but there are some things you should to consider.
Lusting After Early Retirement
I’m the half of our family who actively focuses more on the lifestyle of FI than the numbers. I’m also the half who’s had a brief stint and true look into what early retirement might look like.
I’ve been on maternity leave for 18 months now (thank you Government of Canada), and just sent my old boss a note stating I am not returning to work (an exciting and liberating, yet equally terrifying experience.)
With FI, you dream of and lust after this day in the future where you will get to say adios to the ball and chain that is your job. You tell yourself, if only you could get there faster, EVERYTHING in your life would be better, be easier. That all the bad would melt away and you’ll be left floating on cloud nine for the rest of your life without a care in the world. I’ve been there, I’ve had these same daydreams.
The whole point of Financial Independence is to provide you the freedom to live a life you love. A life that focuses heavily on your own set of values, so this will look different for everyone. And while it may be hard to hear, even once you’re financially independent, it won’t be rainbows and unicorns all the time. Life won’t magically be wonderful, and will still be FULL of hiccups.
When you find yourself no longer formally employed, you may find that adjusting to the change of pace of life is difficult. Setting your own priorities sounds like the perfect life but it can also be intimidating and scary. It showed me how much self motivation I lacked, and planning my day without wasting it all seemed SO difficult. Remember that being financially independent means you may not have to work, but it still involves choosing how and where to prioritize your effort.
To avoid complacency and boredom you will need to keep challenging yourself and learning, or early retirement will lose its appeal quickly.
The slow days where every decision is driven by you, may take their toll on you in ways you never thought of. A significant slowing of life pace can be difficult to adjust to.
It’s important to give yourself the freedom to embrace the discomfort that goes along with such a big adjustment but in the process, learn what kind of structure you will need to feel fulfilled each day. If parenting has taught me anything, it’s that human beings thrive on structure and routine.
Traditional vs. Early Retirement
If you think about the traditional idea of retirement, most will retire at 65+ and immediately jump into volunteer work, or apply themselves to practice daily what was once a hobby they loved but barely had time for (typical example – golf).
There really isn’t a HUGE difference between traditional and early retirees except the obvious – age and time. Both groups still have passions and goals, the early retirees simply have more time to achieve their goals and relish their freedom. All people, financially free or not, old or young, strive to feel fulfilled and productive.
Whatever your age at retirement, humans thrive on challenge. If you stop striving for your next goal, whatever it may be, you will lose all sense of direction and this in and of itself will lead to a dissatisfying life, completely independent of your financial situation.
Consider Your Attitude – Right Now.
While I haven’t been working in the formal sense for several months, taking care of a child is a whole lot of informal work. It doesn’t pay well either… but I digress.
I’ve made a ground breaking discovery, at least for me, during my trial at this “early retirement” thing. Enjoying retirement, or any version of life, is all about your attitude and perspective. And this doesn’t apply only to early retirement, it applies to life in general.
Hear me out.
I hated my commute and the stress of my job. I would drive to work daydreaming about the exciting moment when I would be DONE with it. When I would have the freedom to do whatever I wanted everyday and live my life completely stress free.
What I didn’t realize is that my perspective on life was clouded, perhaps a little by my job, but primarily by my attitude towards it. A valuable lesson I’ve learned recently is that a negative lens doesn’t instantly lift the day that you’re free from the one thing you think is bringing you down.
As humans, we can always find something to complain about. If right now that thing is your job or your debt, realize that your current perspective and attitude towards life will not magically change overnight even if your current stressor is removed.
Without checking in on your attitude and outlook on life, if you don’t have your job to complain about, once you retire early our minds will find another irritant to focus on. Thats just how we humans work.
What I discovered in my first few months off work, home and taking care of my beautiful new baby, is that NOT working has it’s downfalls also. It’s not all bliss. It’s definitely not all sunshine and rainbows. Stress still exists, just in different forms.
You will still have bad days. There will still be stress. You will still have tasks you dread completing. The biggest game changer I discovered was something that you can work on RIGHT NOW, before you even reach FI to improve your overall experience of life. Assess your attitude.
It may sound cliche, but the saying “Life is what you make it”, is true. If your general perspective on everything is negative, and you find yourself complaining (whether internally or aloud) numerous times a day, then early retirement will likely not be a fix all.
The Reality of Early Retirement
I described my morning today in the first couple paragraphs. When you read it, it sounds rather blissful, maybe it sounds exactly like something you’d like to be able to do once you retire yourself. I truly stopped and enjoyed that moment thoroughly. I chose to focus on that beautiful sliver of time and describe it to you. What I didn’t mention is that my feet were cold. Finn finished her snack too quickly and started whining. And my coffee was quickly cooling down, and I hate cold coffee!
Because of the shift in attitude I’ve consciously made and continue to work on daily, I’ll look back on that moment and remember how wonderful it was. Not my cold coffee and feet.
Whether you are nearing your early retirement or are just starting out on your FIRE journey, shifting your attitude and perspective is something you can work on today. It can make your life better TODAY, wherever you are in life.
I’m not encouraging you to look at life through rose colored glasses, but maybe just make an effort to shift your attention and focus on what is GREAT in your life right now, regardless of where you are in your FI journey.
What are your plans post-FI? What do you think your biggest challenge will be? How do you plan to deal with them? Let us know in the comments below!
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Oh good post and great question. To be honest, I don’t see a whole lot changing when we hit our mark. I think our biggest challenge will be to slow down. I love working in particular, so I’ve already started to try and incorporate more ‘slow’ into our days. Like walking outside and weeding or pruning the garden during the day between work projects just when I feel like it. Enjoying the journey, but looking forward to the destination. 😁
Love it and glad you enjoyed the post! Yes exactly, you have to be able to enjoy the journey and the process rather than feel like it’s a grind just to reach your FI number. It’s all about slowly incorporating the life you want to live post FI during your FI journey 😁
Thanks for the personal insight into the FIRE life. I think you nailed it perfectly with the following statement: “Enjoying retirement, or any version of life, is all about your attitude and perspective.” Attitude and perspective is everything not just in FIRE but life in general as you said. I know few 60+ year old’s who have such a poor perspective on life that no matter what positive things I suggest, they have a negative answer/excuse to/for everything. It’s quite sad that they only see the negatives in life and can’t change their perspective and attitude around, its really a miserable way to live. To me it was very easy to change my pessimistic attitude (from way back in my early 20s) to a positive, appreciative and optimistic outlook on life today whether FIRE or not. Because I see things glass half full now instead of glass half empty, yI naturally feel happier and positive most of the time.
As for plans/activities for my FIRE days, the list is way to long to list and I think that’s another point that is essential (which you pointed out as well !). You have to be motivated and want to learn new things. You should have interests and hobbies and if you don’t, you should at least have the desire and curiosity to try new things. Because of this, FIRE may not be ideal for all human personalities, but it sure is for me and I can’t wait to get there!
Cheers,
Beata
Thanks for reading! Attitude and perspective are incredibly important to leading a healthy and happy life but are SO hard to change because it’s all from within. There is no external factor that provides positivity unless you allow yourself to see it. Excuses are just too easy to find, welcome to human nature. While I do my very conscious best to stop, take a deep breath and consider the circumstances when I find myself down a negative rabbit hole, it’s definitely not always easy, and it’s still something I need to work on daily.
I really like what you said about hobbies, learning and being open to new experiences being so important post-FIRE. I personally tend to struggle with defining my hobbies and interests. They are numerous but it seems there’s not one specific interest that I want to really focus my time and effort on (except my little girl, which goes without saying). So what you say about being open and curious about trying new things is so important. As is the statement “FIRE may not be ideal for all human personalities”.
I can’t find a downside for anyone achieving FI, but the “RE” portion of the acronym might not be as broadly positive. To each their own, and knowing what you need to be happy is a huge win!
I’m over two years in now and the biggest struggle I face sometimes is feeling need to have a title or a role. I was well known in my industry and respected for the work I did, it has been weird to now just be a guy who does occasional writing and photography projects. I have found I have taken on a lot of volunteer works and advocacy campaigns to try and fill that void but actually discovering it to be a bit unhealthy and just me searching out the title and job role again. So I have been stepping back this summer finding time for myself again as that was the whole idea behind reaching financial independence.
I can 100% relate to the lack of role. And as a newly appointed “stay at home mom” (a role I never really envisioned for myself) I still respond with “Nurse” when people as what I am/do. It’s not that I’m embarrassed of my new role, but people nod in understanding when I say I’m a nurse, no explanation needed, and generally no further questions.
As time passes, I hope to evolve how I answer this question by telling the asker of that question why I am passionate about staying home with my child and any other endeavor I may take on in the future.
I feel it’s so difficult to not get bogged down by activities and trying to fill all your free time. I respect your efforts in volunteer work and advocacy campaings, but I respect even more you self awareness to realize you need to dial it back to reclaim some time for yourself!
I like reading your perspective!
Our biggest challenge in early retirement is likely to be the same as our biggest challenge right now (as two part-time work-from-home parents). Routines and boundaries.
We all thrive on a routine, which is why the school year is SO GLORIOUS in our house and summer is utter chaos. Having somewhere to go every day is good for peace of mind, but it gets in the way of spontaneous summer vacations and outings. It’s hard to hold space for the things I NEED to do (exercising and self-care) when my family wants to hop in the RV and hit the road for a few days… every week in the summer.
Boundaries: we both struggled with this when we went part-time. I find myself repeating the phrase “my free time is not your resource to manage” a lot. When we both worked office jobs, we didn’t see each other during down time (coffee breaks, in the hallway after a bathroom break, in-between meetings, or just surfing the net). Now that we’re both home all the time in the same home office, there’s feelings of guilt when one of us gets spotted looking at Facebook while the other person is rotating the laundry (just one example).
It’s something I’m working on literally every day, and takes a lot of intention and mindfulness to be respectful of a spouse who’s suddenly all up in my business 24 hours a day. Like you said, no situation is ever perfect. It’s OK to admit that semi-retirement is not sunshine and bunny rabbits 🙂
As a relatively new parent, I’ve learned recently that routines are life. Adjusting my daily routine to being a stay at home parent with no expectation to go back to work has been rocky. That self care and exercising stuff always ends up last on the to do list, but I’ve found both to be so so important to being a happy mom and person.
Boundaries are tricky!! Especially when it comes to free time, I find I have to remind myself constantly that Court is still working FULL TIME even if it’s just in our basement. It’s not her trying to hide from us to relax haha…!
Carving out alone time has been vital to all of our happiness levels also.
Glad you enjoyed reading my perspective!
I love the concept of FI/RE, but struggle with the retire early portion of this equation. For so many of the reasons you’ve identified in this blog, it’s important to recognize retirement marks the beginning of a new chapter. Whether it’s traditional or achieving early retirement, defining your purpose and how you want to invest your time and energy as you craft the new chapter is essential. Also, I loved your comment about attitude. Retirement won’t shift your mindset, that’s all on you. Every day we make a choice when we emerge blurry-eyed from sleep. For me, as it sounds like for you (admittedly it’s a WIP), I choose to be positive. To understand the day will have hurdles, and I well get frustrated or annoyed, but how I choose to navigate these situations is 100% my responsibility. Thanks for sharing this post!
Early retirement is what we call it, but really it feels like exactly what you said – a new chapter. Not a chapter of coasting and binging on Netflix, but a chapter where you’ve got the stability and freedom to follow any dream you have. Constant positivity doesn’t come naturally and is completely unattainable, but I agree with what you said, navigating the hurdles and your reactions to those hurdles is all up to you. Glad the post resonated with you!
Love hearing from Nic today! Awesome how much you are aligned and on board with your FI goals.
Communication and compromise… the keys to marriage and FI success 😉
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Oh boy, you are so right on about the struggles of stay-at-home parenting! I was truly shocked by how much of my time as a SAHM I spent dissatisfied and frustrated. Why didn’t all the negatives go away magically when I stopped my teaching job? Now suddenly I had all the time in the world for two kiddos, but they didn’t want to do what I wanted to do 24/7!
It’s definitely weird to lose the job part of your identity, even temporarily. And it’s so important to figure out a routine so each day of retirement or sabbatical or whatever doesn’t pass in a total blur. My dad recently retired, and he is such a driven person that he really struggles with too much free time. He’s taken up beekeeping and some other things, but I think he has felt a bit lost at times.
Stay at home parenting is no joke! How dare these kids not want to do what you want to do all day, eh? Haha. That said, it IS hard work, not to be taken lightly and can definitely be frustrating at times. I just said today to Court, “I need a sick day, but Finn doesn’t seem to notice or care.” She’s like the most hardass boss ever. Routine has saved us though, I think that’s such a valuable lesson for people with or without kids, how important a routine can be for feeling accomplished and somewhat put together day in and day out.
I personally would not call being a SAHM “retirement.” I think maybe if both parents are not working and are sharing childcare duties (like mrmoneymoustache), then that is more like an early retirement. Being a SAHM is hard daily work. You are not truly free to pursue outside passions or live a relaxed life, etc. I mean, if you had a nanny who was spending the day with your child instead of you, would you call her retired? Maybe I’m quibbling about terms. I think my point is, to me, there is a humongous difference between being retired, and being a SAHM with a full-time working spouse.
As the SAHM of our family, I can honestly say you couldn’t be more right. It’s a full time job, and actually even more then a full time job, because I’m still working night shifts even though I’m not a nurse anymore (when do kids decide sleep is good?!) I can say that I don’t feel “retired” so to speak, but I am super thankful for having the freedom that FI affords so I can stay home with my little monster. I feel like I’ve learned a lot about living life outside of being formally employed, and having to structure my own days and provide my own motivation in the past year. That’s the main point I’m trying to portray in this post. Thanks for reading and providing your feedback!!
I don’t view reaching FI as some pending magical moment where the stars will instantaneously align and I will be free and happy as a clam (although wouldn’t that be nice!). My pursuit of FI is actually just focused on the FI rather than the RE, because I actually do enjoy my job and I usually don’t mind the daily ins and outs of going to work. However, the value I place is in the freedom it will afford – if I want to take a year to travel, or live in a different country, or raise a child, I won’t have to worry about leaving a well-paying job behind.
However, I am somewhat terrified of the aspect you discuss here – what happens when we reach the RE portion? I already get bored and lose my sense of self worth if I go a single weekend day without conquering something productive, how on earth will I survive as an early retiree?
I love your insight regarding your efforts appreciate the slow pace of life. This is something I am NOT good at – yet. However, I have been consciously working towards it this past year. Thanks to having you as an example, I now know that, even if this does not come naturally, it can be done!