January’s Challenge: Social Media Detox

We took a digital detox from social media during the month of January in which we removed all forms of social media from our lives for a 30 day period.  Originally, I was going to do this for a week but decided to bump it up to the full month for a real challenge.  It’s sad when your wife asks you for a week off of Instagram as her holiday present.

No really, that’s a sad moment.  Social media and technology is just taking over our lives these days.  There are so many positives that have come from the advancements in technology over the last 20 years.  We are able to more easily connect with loved ones who live a long distance away.  We are able to look up anything within an instant.  That’s all fantastic.  Yet, have we taken a step back to ask if all these advancements are actually good for us? If you haven’t read Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport, I’d highly recommend checking it out.

Look around you.  How many people are facing their screens rather than having an actual conversation? Look at yourself.  You’re likely reading this post on a smart phone or a computer rather than sitting and conversing in person with a friend or family member.  Is this the life we really want to be living?

And social media is no better.  We post our highlights for the world to see.  But that’s not our everyday life.  Instead, we are trying to show off our best version of our life as if life is a competition.  We obsess over likes and views and comments.  It’s creating depression and anxiety among teens when their peers are getting all the likes and they aren’t.  Bullying is at an all time high.

I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if 20 years from now all we hear about is studies showing how smart phones are the new cigarettes.

How did we do?

I must admit, the first week was weird.  The only social media platform that I really use every day is Instagram. I had deleted the Facebook app from my phone years ago and would occasionally go to Facebook’s website to see what’s been going on the past week or two. During the last few months of 2019 I had joined a few more FI related groups so I found myself heading over to Facebook’s website a few times a week but I knew not accessing Facebook wouldn’t be too big of a challenge.

We also started a Twitter account for Modern Fimily around the time of launching this blog but for anyone who follows us over there knows, we are not active on Twitter at all.  I do not understand how it works nor do I care to do so.  That account pretty much sits dormant so again, I did not foresee any issues not accessing that.

Enter in the one social media platform I had become addicted to: Instagram.

I started our Instagram account back in December 2018 as a way to try to connect with like minded FI people.  I didn’t know what I was getting myself into haha.  I had made a rule way back then that I wouldn’t follow more than 100 people and I’ve stuck to that rule but following 100 people is still a lot!  Not to mention all the stories along with the posts.  We would also get tons of messages from people asking us all sorts of questions.  Don’t get me wrong, I am always happy to help, but I could tell it was eating up WAY too much of my time.  My wife clearly knew this too as she was the one who asked for me to take a 1 week break as my holiday present to her.

I removed the Instagram app from my phone on January 1st.

Week 1

So here we are in the first week of January and I was in the middle of reading Cal Newport’s book, Deep Work, which essentially is telling me to avoid distractions in order to get any meaningful work accomplished, yet I found myself constantly (and mindlessly) tapping my phone to unlock it, swiping to the page and folder where IG used to be, and hitting what used to be the IG icon – that was no longer there.  Instead, my WhatsApp app took up that location now and I found myself opening up WhatsApp far too many times than necessary.

Note that I did not ban myself from access to the internet completely so I was still using email, texts, FaceTime, etc. to connect with the world.

And in fact, many of my FI friends reached out to me via email or text to check in and send over interesting articles or book recommendations which really helped during this week.

We also had a podcast interview lined up with Bradley & Drew over at the House Hacking Success podcast show.  We provided detail of how house hacking helped shape our FI journey and our overall FI journey along the way. This episode, titled How To Get A One Million Dollar Net Worth and Reach Financial Independence by Being Mindful of Your Money and House Hacking with Courtney From Modern Fimily, was released on January 22nd and can be found on our Guest Appearances page.

Week 2

During the second week, I had a new book checked out from the library, This Changes Everything: Capitalism vs Climate, but I just could not get myself to read the first page. For whatever reason, having a ~550 page book in front of me was too daunting.  Yet reading two 250 page books in 1 week is no problem.  For whatever weird reason, I have some weird psychological inhibitor to reading such a big book.  I really want to read this book, and I will someday, but clearly January 2020 was not the month for this book to be read.  I did read two smaller books in the 250 page range this week – Present Over Perfect and Beat The Bank.

I ended up watching more Netflix in January than I did in all of 2020.  We watched all 3 episodes of Inside Bill’s Brain, watched The Game Changers documentary (vegetarian challenge is taking place for us right now during the month of February – post on that will be coming in March), along with a few episodes of Street Food. While this wasn’t necessarily productive, at least Nic and I were bonding over watching these episodes together vs mindlessly scrolling a screen on my own.

We also had an interview with a Forbes contributor so that was fun being able to share our FI story with him. I honestly still can’t believe we were on Forbes! You can check it out here or also on our Guest Appearances page.

Additionally, we had another podcast interview set up with Cody and Justin from The FI Show which has aired.  They brought a ton of energy to the table and I really enjoyed recording with them. You can check it out here or also on our Guest Appearances page.

I noticed during this second week my mind no longer thought about Instagram any more.  I noticed my hand was no longer mindlessly trying to tap an app icon that no longer existed.  I definitely found other ways to stay busy.

My friends Ali & Alison over at All Options Considered (remember them from FIRE Community Guest Interview Series #2?) published this awesome Case Study post that I really enjoyed so I reached out to them to see if they’d be interested in doing another case study in the future looking at our finances.  And Alison was IN!

We have been working on this crazy file for countless hours this month and I’m so excited to see the final results.  We’ve chatted a few times going over all the intricate details and I’m so excited to have another excel/number/visual/money nerd taking a stab at our finances to get their view on our withdrawal strategy.  Major major thank you in advance to Alison for the incredible work she’s done on our case study.

I also worked on setting up and formatting a 3 month coaching session that I launched in January.  I have some amazing couples who reached out and want to get coaching from us so here we are!  This will involve three 1-hour sessions over the course of 3 months.

Working on the case study material and the coaching plan definitely kept us busy for the first half of January!

In addition to finance related things, we went to the science centre, library, sports centre (for hockey, swimming, and gymnastics multiple times), sledding, outdoor skating, and did our semi-annual haul to Costco with my sister-in-law along with a trip to IKEA and the Asian Market.  We tried out a few awesome new recipes to add to our repertoire thanks to the Keepin’ It Frugal gals.  We also got our furnace cleaned and rearranged some decorations on our walls. And that was just the first half of the month!

I headed back to work for 3 nights in mid-January and then we were off to Florida for the rest of the month to visit some friends and family down there.

When I’m on nights, there is typically a slow period for a few hours in the middle of the night where I find I’m mindlessly scrolling on social media – not that much is happening then as most people are asleep.  Instead, I found myself conversing with my shift partner more and looking up particular articles that may be of interest.

Week 3

This was the second time we’ve flown all day internationally with the little lady.  We found a non-stop flight from Calgary to Fort Lauderdale with points so we booked that as soon as we found it and it was amazing.  Don’t get me wrong, it was still a long 5 hour flight and a challenge with a toddler, but not having to disrupt her sleep schedule that day was amazing.

I brought two library books down with me, Affluenza and I Will Teach You To Be Rich. I finished Affluenza but didn’t get a chance to read I Will Teach You To Be Rich so I’m back on hold at the library for this one. I typically read for 1-2 hours each night and found most nights we were conversing with friends and family instead – not a bad thing at all!

Spending time with family and friends definitely helped with the detox as we had very busy days while down in Florida.

The odd thing this week was that I found myself checking the stock market every day.  I never used to do this.  This impulse has become my crutch this week to check something, anything. The good part is that it would mean being on my phone for less than a minute to check this vs the minutes turned to hours mindlessly scrolling on social media.

Week 4

By this week I felt like I could go months longer without social media.  I don’t need it.  No one does.  We’ve become addicted to a product we don’t need.

I also noticed I wasn’t getting headaches as often as I normally do. I’m sure this has to do with less time for my eyes to bug out unnaturally first thing in the morning or late at night on a shiny device.

Going forward, I’ve put a 30 minute daily time limit of Instagram and Facebook combined on my phone. I’ve realized anything more than this is not really bringing value to my life. I’d rather be reading in depth blogs that I enjoy or messaging a few other FI members who I’ve really connected with over the year. The rest really is just fluff, and as any reader knows, we’re all about cutting out the fluff that doesn’t bring value to our lives.  Why not apply this to social media too?

Thoughts On Social Media

I have a profoundly love/hate relationship with it. On one hand, I love keeping in touch with my friends and family who are scattered across the globe.

On the other hand, nothing makes me feel more inadequate than seeing other people’s shiny, happy photos of them doing shiny, happy things.

There’s no doubt that Facebook, Instagram, whatever is hip these days is a compilation of everyone’s best moments–after all, I’m certainly not posting a photo of how I look right now.

Nope, instead I post pictures which are a completely false representation of our daily lives. These pictures capture a fragment of time in which we look our best or are on magical adventures.  We all have bad days. We all cry. We all have emotions. But who’s posting those pictures? No one. Hence, these photos that are posted are an idealized version of us.

So why do I post this type of picture? For the same reason everyone else does: I want to look freaking good for the world! Who doesn’t?! I want to convey that I have my act together. But it’s not the whole truth. And therein is the fallacy of comparison: we never have the full truth of someone else’s life.

We might think that their fabulous vacation photos or stellar promotion or new puppy indicate that their life is going ideally, awesomely perfect. And we might even feel resentment or jealously. But why? Why torture ourselves when we have no idea what’s happening under the surface. I shudder to think that jealousy might cloud my ability to express empathy and friendship.

Goal: Compare Less, Care More

I wanted to talk about this today because it’s a goal I have for myself–to compare less and to instead have deeper compassion and to reflect more inspiration and motivation. We’re all doing the best we can and we’re all profoundly flawed and imperfect. We also want to connect deeper with real friendships, not have thousands of “fake” friends.

Instead of allowing jealousy to creep in, I’m going to focus on how happy I am to see other people succeed and how much more productive I can be if I radiate that positivity.

My main takeaway during this month off is that your core key relationships are what really matter in life.  Make sure you are not diminishing these relationships as they are the real long-lasting ones that matter the most.

Do you think you could take a 30 day break from social media?? I’d urge you to consider it.

Thank you Cal Newport and Digital Minimalism for presenting me with this challenge awhile ago. And of course to my wife too for the extra nudge. It took me some time to finally take a break, but I’d highly recommend reading Cal’s book and trying it out. If you do take a break, please be sure to comment below how it went!

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We believe in stacking up life hacks to keep your enjoyment levels to the max without depleting your bank account.  Here are some ways to further educate yourself and save thousands of dollars over your lifetime by making some simple adjustments:

• Investing Newbies: Check out our free Investing 101 Series.
• How much are you paying for your phone plan?  Canadians, learn more about Public Mobile, and see how we are paying $3/mo for our cell phone plan.
• How much are you paying for internet?  Canadians, learn more about the various Independent Service Providers out there to see who services your area so you can lower your monthly bills.
• How much are you paying for home insurance?  We were able to reduce our rates by 25% by switching over to Square One Insurance.  If you live in BC, AB, SK, MB, and ON, check out Square One for your home insurance, landlord insurance, and/or tenant insurance.  Use this link to receive an extra $15 off your quote.  (Note that you must use this link to start the process to get the $15 off even if you prefer to pay over the phone.)
• How much are you paying for your monthly utility bills?  See how you can likely save on this monthly expense.

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