The New Normal – Living Through COVID-19

2020 has been an interesting year for most… We are trying our best to embrace this brave new world we are living in.  And let’s be honest, its tough.  We’ve all been smacked out of our normal routine, and like everyone, we are trying our best to adapt.

Fortunately for us, our normal hasn’t been shaken up too much – none of our immediate friends or family have tested positive for COVID-19, but there definitely are some noticeable changes to our daily routine.  Thankfully we are in a position where Nic had already retired early and I work part time (and am considered essential so I am still gainfully part-time employed).  This means our days weren’t disrupted in which we had to scramble to figure out what to do without daycare since we never had daycare in the first place.  We didn’t have to revisit the budget due to one or both of us losing our income.  We didn’t have to worry about funding a non-existent emergency fund thanks to our uber conservative 5+ years of cash on hand (which we’ve been shuffling some of into investments).  We haven’t had to research or obsess over the news to see if we qualified for any of the stimulus packages being offered as our employment (Court) and chosen unemployment (Nic) have not been altered. We didn’t suddenly go from structured routine each day to chaos – we’ve already learned how to manage our time while living retired & semi-retired lives. We are cutting each other’s hair at home like we normally do. We are cooking most of our meals at home as usual.  We still have nature as our therapist.  We recognize our privilege in that we are not scrapping by each day/week/month wondering how we are going to pay the bills.  It has gotten us thinking and talking about homeschooling/un-schooling while the little lady is young though… Nic and I have joked that besides from the obvious social distancing measures in place, the biggest change to our personal little bubble is now checking library books out in ebook or audiobook format instead of paperback.  What a ridiculously privileged thing to be able to say during these times.

We are very thankful to be in our situation and also very aware of the power of being valuists in which our spending is typically lower than most so we don’t feel like we’re living a deprived life living on less than $25,000/year.  The choices we made a decade ago (dismissing lifestyle creep, aggressively paying off our student loan debt, aggressively paying off our mortgage, travel hacking, minimizing, figuring out the proper mindset, and learning about investing) have set our family up for stability when the going gets tough.  Many people whose jobs have been cut/lost/furloughed are having to go through their budgets (or are creating a budget for the first time) to eliminate many discretionary items and may feel like they are giving up a lot during these times.  I’m truly hoping people realize that many of these “wants” are not adding that much additional happiness to their lives and they are able to continue without them once this pandemic is over.  I’m hoping we all live much simpler lives going forward and realize the value of free things such as sleeping, reading, sitting, thinking, writing, conversing, laughing, cooking, walking, biking, chatting with your neighbors, community/relationships and fresh air. Slow down. Enjoy it.

Now, that’s not to say our lives have not been impacted these past few months.  Many of our daily activities are now closed so we are trying to entertain our 2 year old more-so at home which gets our creative juices going. Our daughter keeps us very busy and drives us absolutely crazy at times so we are trying to entertain her day in and day out when it’s easy for every day to feel monotonous.

We’ve decided to take turns parenting at various moments in the day to give ourselves some much needed alone time.  For example, Nic will go for a morning run while I stay back and Finn eats her second breakfast (yes, she is constantly eating), then Nic will take her outside in the later morning while I stay home and shower, then I’ll take her down to the basement to play while Nic relaxes, etc.  We still try to do a lot together as the 3 of us but we’ve found these little 1-on-1 sessions are helping us all get through each day.

Of course, it’s far from perfect.  She’s getting more screen time than we typically allow.  Instead of one 6-12 minute episode of either Elmo, Daniel Tiger, or Molly of Denali in the morning, she’s now watching one 6-12 minute episode of each show.  And we can’t forget her beloved kangaroo video that our friends from down under sent us that she’s obsessed with (and yes, she now jumps like a kangaroo ALL THE TIME).

We are realizing just how much we appreciate all of the free activities around our town that we had access to prior to COVID-19.  Our morning routine typically entailed a 1-2 hour outing to either our library for story time (Finn’s favorite), or to our Parent Link Centre (PLC) for Toddlers in Tow class or to hang at their indoor playground, or to a friends house for a play date, or to the science centre when a free pass was available from the PLC, or to the zoo (which we have an annual pass to), or to the parks and playgrounds, or to the farmers market, or out to the mountains for a hike, or to Nic’s sisters house so Finn can play with her cousins, or to the sports center to go skating or swimming or the kids turf or gymnastics or the splash park or to watch hockey (let’s be honest – the zamboni and the goalie are really all she wants to watch).  We used to think “well I guess we’ll go to the sports center for the third day in a row”… ahh now how we wish we could do that!  This strange time is allowing us to reflect on all that we do have to be grateful for.

We also incorporate an outdoor experience into our days, which we would typically reserve for the afternoon when it’s warmest out with an indoor morning activity in the cooler months.  Now-a-days, with nothing else open, we are getting outside much more, regardless the weather.  And dammit winter took its sweet old time leaving us at the beginning of April, which didn’t help (I swear it was colder the first week in April than any other point this winter).  We made snowmen, went sledding, ate “ice cream cones” (a toilet paper roll reshaped into an ice cream cone with snow on top), and did lots of indoor crafts. Nic has become a pro at making cloud dough and slime. Thankfully the weather has been much nicer the past 3-4 weeks so we are embracing as much outdoor time as possible which is our normal M.O. come spring/summer but those first few weeks of isolation were tough when we were still getting snow now and then.

We’ve also noticed how many more people are going out for walks too.  Since isolation started we’ve been going for both a morning walk and an afternoon walk (whereas as typically we’d be doing some sort of group activity in the morning as noted above).  Excuse me, if Finn is reading I should say “hike” not walk as she steers off course and ventures through the trees, grass, mud and dirt instead of the path and has to get a walking stick every time we venture out.  Normally we see the same 10-20 people passing by when we go on our walks – now we’re seeing so many people we’ve never recognized from the past.  This is great news and hopefully these people will continue to get outside.

Kids are actually out in their yards playing on their playgrounds or trampolines rather than sitting dormant after the first week of arriving in their back yard.  We’re painting rocks outside, drawing on the path with chalk, searching for “birdie berries”, going for a “run” to the free little libraries, blowing bubbles, flying kites, making “soup” (where she puts rocks and grass into mud and then stirs it with her stick/”spoon”), cloud gazing, searching for deer, eagles, and geese out in the conservation area behind our house, or – our new favorite – throwing rocks in the river.

During those first cooler weeks we were also spending more time than normal in our finished basement where her “big toys” live.  Her ball pit is now her “home” and she invites me in for coffee (aka a ball).  Here’s her line: “Momma no ugga (sugar).  Momma milk. Not hot. Warm. Microwave. Bing! Here you go! Inny (Finny) little bit ugga.” and we proceed to sip our coffee balls together. She then insists to have a “nap” on the carpet (where I have to ensure the blanket is FLAT with absolutely NO creases), within seconds she shouts her “cock-a-doodle-do!!” wake-up, hops all over on her bouncy cow thing, strums Nic’s guitar while shouting/singing her ABCs, we do our daily 15 “push ups”, and then she’s “tired” and needs another “nap”. So yeaa we’re definitely at the point where we pretend and play A LOT.

She also was gifted a doll (her name is “baby” of course) and a doll stroller from her Auntie for her 2nd birthday recently which she is LOVING.  Again, lots of pretend going on here.  We go for “walks” from the kitchen table, to the kitchen, back to the kitchen table, back to the kitchen, on and on and on.  My favorite is when she puts her baby on her little folding chair and then awkwardly puts her arms through the arm rests so the chair & baby are now on her back so she can take her baby “hiking” in her “hiking carrier”.

Nic built her a kids kitchen (with utensils, what?!) out of our step stool, tape, felt, popsicle sticks, an old milk carton, and an old mushroom container.

She pretends that her kitchen helper/stool that her grandpa built her is her car and then proceeds to do the following song and dance: “Inny (Finny) work time. Bye bye mommy Nicy bye bye Momma Court (yes, she now calls us by our first names 50% of the time). Seat belt on. Tight!” <buckles her seat belt, drives her car, unbuckles her seat belt, hops off, heads over to a chair and starts writing her “email”> “Inny all done work!” <hops back in her car/stool, seat belt on, drives home> “Inny home! Uppa (supper) time. Inny tired. Night night!”

We’re also having bath tub swimming pool time in the middle of the day to get our swim fix in.  Kids goggles and all.  I drop “treasure” at the bottom for her to find under the bubbles.

And how could I forget, we’re potty training.  Oh joy.  She’s really doing great and is almost there. We’ve only had 4 pee accidents since we started in mid-March and lasts 1.5 hours in her “big girl underwears” outside without having an accident.  Most days she wakes up from a nap or bedtime sleep with a dry diaper.  She’s still not comfortable to poop in her potty so asks for her diaper and goes to her “spot”.

She’s now using her potty time as a delay tactic at night time… She wants to go potty after her bath and within 15 minutes after reading some stories she just needs to go again. But she’s not just excited to use the potty.  Oh no no.  She excited to SPRINT to Momma and Mommy’s bathroom at the end of the hall and SPRINT back to her room afterwards.

I’m really curious as to how these months are going to shape the younger generation. Will there be a long term impact on them?  Our daughter is super rambunctious and energetic around people she’s comfortable with but very shy and timid around strangers.  And now with social distancing we’re noticing she’s getting more and more “scared” of strangers as we’re out for our walks. We’ve been saying things along the line of “Finn other people are coming by, please head over to the side” and now when she sees other people on the path she sprints over to us and yells “people!” and just freezes up. It’s really hard/impossible to even try to explain to a 2 year old why we have to distance ourselves during these times!

We’re trying our best to be good parents but we also recognize these are not normal times.  And I think that’s what we all need to remember.  It’s ok to not be ok.  It’s ok to feel overwhelmed.  It’s ok to have blah days.  It’s ok to feel depressed.  It’s ok to not feel yourself.  It’s ok to sleep in – (super jealous of you right now, our energizer bunny has been waking up before 6 am most mornings, so fun).  It’s ok to feel helpless.  It’s ok to hide in a corner and eat Cheetos so your child doesn’t see you.  It’s ok to binge watch your favorite show.  It’s ok to feel like a bad parent.  It’s ok to feel frustrated.

I think that’s absolutely going to happen for most people (us included).  Allow it all.  But it’s also important to recognize these changes and try to implement positive measures to get out of a funk.  Please make sure you are taking care of your mental health during these very strange times.  Know that in time, these feeling will be replaced by others (hopefully for the better).

Rather than obsessing over the media and watching the climb in COVID cases in your town, country, or around the globe, focus on things you CAN control.

• Set up a daily routine.
• Give your kids an extra hug each day.
• Take a relaxing bath in the middle of the day.
• Search for flowers in your community.
• Look up new recipes.
• Send “old school” letters in the mail to loved ones you can’t see and become pen pals with them. If you have kids, send drawings to family and friends in the mail.
• Breathe.

We’re hoping that sharing our new normal brightens your day a bit and makes you realize you are not alone in trying to adjust.

And if you need a further pick me up, here’s another positive note in addition to our previous post focused on the positives that can come from all of this:

• Traffic is gone
• Gas is affordable
• Bills extended
• Kids are at home with their families
• Parents are home taking care of their children
• Meals out are replaced by home cooked meals
• Hectic schedules are replaced by naps, rest, and relaxation
• The air is cleaner
• The world quieter
• People are conscious about hygiene and health
• Money doesn’t seem to make the world go round anymore
• Doctors and nurses are being praised and recognized instead of athletes and celebrities
• And we now have time, finally, to stop and smell the roses

What does your “new normal” look like?  How are you doing during these strange times?  Have you found any ways to cope with all that is going on?

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